This widespread belief leads women to blame men for their sexual unhappiness. It puts unrealistic expectations on men who develops fear and tiredness; making love becomes hard work.

Assertive men are thought to be more masculine and thereby more desirable to women. Sadly, both sexes play many games in sex, not realising that the illusions they hold about each other will ruin their relationship. Men fear starting relationships not feeling confident to be these “assertive men” or knowing how to bring women to orgasm. Women wait for men to take initiative fearing to be viewed as flighty, unreliable and not truly loving potential partners if they initiate physical contact themselves. So, while women are waiting, men are procrastinating.

Today women do initiate sex, though mostly not as a conscious initiative wanting to nurture men, help them to relax and relieve them from their ‘responsibility’ to satisfy women. Many modern men look for a deeper meaning in sex. They are not happy to play the dominating role and conquer women. Women can stop demanding transitory passion and sexual satisfaction from men and instead show them a way other than dominating the female body and acting on instinctual impulse.

Both partners can initiate sex and learn to touch and nurture each other’s bodies equally.